Rockman.EXE belongs to Capcom. This fan fiction was created for the Tri-Monthly Contest at Rockman.exe Online. Please do not post this fiction anywhere without the author's permission.


Rockman.exe - Saito Style

By: Anonymous (Author wish to keep their name withheld)


If you beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. - Mark Twain's The War Prayer


While writing this fanfic for the Rockman.Exe Online November Contest, I spent quite a bit of time thinking about the background of it. Why it was the way things were made. In it, A role reversal has taken place in the Rockman.Exe universe. The Hikari family had two sons, Saito and Netto, but at very young age, Saito was struck down by a fatal disease, and died. Netto grew up never knowing the tragedy of his brother.

Until at a certain time, in Netto's fifth grade year, a plot executed by a netcrime organization forced Netto to use every last one of his Net Navis capabilities, including some that not even Netto was aware of. His father had incorporated all of Saito's qualities in the navi, lovingly crafting the DNA of his deceased son into the Navi's code. Dr. Hikari, Nettos' father, finally told Netto the truth about his brother just before the end of the WWW's downfall.

But, everyone already knows that story.

The subject topic of this fanfic was "What if Saito, Netto's brother, had lived?" As such, I have decided to peer into that fantasy. However, it has been my personal belief for some time that a person cannot be blessed, without cursing another. By this end, if Saito had survived, the critical gene causing the disease would have instead been inherited in Netto, and he, instead, would perish.

Of course, the Hikari family would be equally wracked with grief, and his father would use the same procedure to inject Netto's personality into the navi. Saito would be far too young to recall any such travesty in his life, and his parents would once again keep the secret of his brothers past a mystery to him.

As such, within this fanfic, is a brief glimpse into the more humorous aspects of what life would've been like, if the wrecklessly bold Netto had become the Navi, and his slightly more reasonable, and level headed brother had become the operator.


Saito's green eyes slowly opened as the fifth grader awoke to a brand new day in his suburban ACDC home. He sat up slowly, and rubbed his eyes, and pushed his dark brown bangs out from his field of vision, as he looked over to the alarm clock sitting on his dresser.

"Ahh, 7:30, right on time." He smiled as he moved his legs to the edge of the bed and stood. His light blue pajamas were wrinkled and unkempt, and he quickly donned his usual daytime clothing: black shorts, a long sleeved white shirt, and a blue sport vest (his signature style). He looked over to his blue Personal Terminal, and whispered to it.

"Rockman? Hey, Rockman? You awake?"

Of course, a loud snore was his response, just as it was every morning. Rockman had never once wakened up on time as long as Saito had known him. Saito smiled and decided to go ahead downstairs, and eat breakfast and give Rockman.Exe, his navi, a few more minutes of blissful rest.

"Morning Mom." He said to her as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh, g'morning Saito. How'd you sleep?" she said back, dully, hunched over the table with her morning coffee.

This was odd for his mother. She was usually a very lively and active woman, but recently she just seemed a little down.

"Well, I slept alright." He spoke, awkwardly. "… mom? Is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing you need to worry about, sweetie." She said with a faux smile, trying to mask her sorrow.

"Mom, you can tell me." He said, placing his hand on her shoulder to comfort.

"I," she hesitated. "I just wish your father would come home sometimes, He's been gone for so long I don't even remember the last time I saw him in the house. He's always working on some new program, 'Netto.bat' or something."

"Well," Saito said in his fathers defense, "He did invite us to that nice dinner ball at the SciLab, didn't he?"

His mother snorted. "Yeah, that was nice of him, but it would've been a lot better if the ball hadn't been hijacked by that madman with a neon jacket and pointy hair. It would've been better still if that loudmouthed navi of yours hadn't taunted him so much. He almost flooded the lower levels and electrocuted us all!"

Saito sweatdropped. "Th-That was a technicality, He was feeling a little buggy that day."

"You had us so worried that day! Your navi kept stumbling around in the darkened areas of the SciLab network! He's a bit clumsy, isn't he?" she said, somewhat depressed.

"Mom, we all have our faults." He replied, with a nervous smile.

"And what about that time he broke into SciLab through the Internet in the middle of the night, took over your fathers computer, and tried to invent 'Cyber-Curry'? The disk-cleaner programs spent weeks mopping up the mess!!!" she said, speaking as if Rockman were Saito's disappointing sibling.

"OH, LOOK AT THE TIME!!!" Saito shouted, pointing ecstatically at his watch, hoping, nay praying that he could get away from that comment without trying to defend it. He would defend Rockman as much as he could, but he was no devils advocate. "I've gotta get to school!" he said, as he kissed his mother on the cheek again. "Bye Mom!"

He quickly ran upstairs and picked up his PET. "Rockman? Rockman, wake up! It's time for school." Snoring persisted from within the PET, and Saito shook it violently, like a kid who had made a horrendous mistake on his etch-a-sketch. "ROCKMAAAAAAN!!! WAKE UP!!!"

A very groggy and upset navi appeared on the screen. He spotted a blue helmet with yellow stripes, and blue body-suit armor. ", S, Saito? What t—" he began, as he looked at the PETs internal clock, and for a moment, silence dominated.

", OH MY GAWD!!! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE AGAIN!!!" the navi screamed. "WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP?!"

Saito sighed. "I tried, but you were fast asleep. That's what you get for staying up late all night and chatting with my friends."

"Hurry up! I don't wanna be late for class! Mariko-Sensei ALWAYS picks on me when you're late to class!" Rockman cried.

Saito sighed again, and put his shoes on. His shoes were very stylish, and had attachments for roller-blades so he could get from place to place faster (which is very handy in a Capcom game, since your destination is always on the other side of the planet). He strapped the roller blades on, and within moments was out the door, speeding down the street towards ACDC Elementary School.

"Rockman," he began, in his parental lecture tone, "You've got to stop doing stupid things like this!"

"Huh?" the navi asked, "Stupid things like what?"

"Like sleeping in, and taunting people who are trying to KILL us! You're embarrassing mom, and me!! You're a navi! Why don't you act like everyone elses?" he interrogated, exasperated.

"Because everyone elses Navi's got no skills!" he said, striking a pose.

Saito nearly lost his balance and plowed into a parked car. "Skills?! You have NEVER even come up with a good idea!!!"

"I've never come up with a bad idea, though!" he retorted cleverly.

Saito thought for a moment. "Sure you have. Lots of times."

"NAME ONE!!!" Rockman shouted, enraged.

"How about the time you said we should zip the C: drive on my computer? I had to write my own extraction program because I zipped the program that zips the files. Remember that one?" Saito inquired, annoyed.

"That wasn't a dumb Idea... It was the ultimate space saving system."

"That's not what you were screaming from the zip file while I was trying to get you out of it!" Saito frowned.

"alright, alright, so I had a minor flaw in my idea, big deal. Name another."

"What about the time you cleaned out my bank account so you could make the first 'Net Restaurant for Navis'? I had over Five-hundred thousand Zenny in there!!"

"That wasn't a stupid idea!!! It was a 100% low-capitol startup, with positive- only cash flow!!! It was the most brilliant and fullproof monopolistic profit machine known to the internet!!!"

"Profit?! What PROFIT?!"

Rockman hesitated, "well, the food wouldn't spoil for decades."

"NAVIS DON'T EAT!!!" Saito screamed.

"Well, Yeah, but not for lack of trying." Rockman stated innocently.

Saito sighed in resignation. "Just try to keep the bad ideas to a minimum. Ok?"

"Fine, Fine, I'll just deprive you of my creative genius for the time being." Rockman mumbled.

Finally, the end to this conversation came as Saito entered his classroom. Many of his classmates had already taken their seats. He suavely waved at Meiru, and she winked, and smiled back at him. Several weeks ago, Rockman quietly told Saito that he had the sneaking suspicion that maybe, just maybe, Meiru liked Saito. The teacher, Mariko-Sensei, was endlessly amused, as the entire class smacked their collective foreheads in perfect unison.

Saito sat and neatly arranged his homework from the previous night on his desk, and placed his book bag beside his chair. He picked up a pencil and placed it next to the console on his clean, white school desk.

Saito was a very organized person, more so then most children his age. In addition to being so organized, he was very tidy and efficient. His room was always spotless, and homework was promptly done as soon as he got home (despite Rockman's insistence that it could wait until later, and that they had plenty of time to play). In everything he did, he excelled, and in the things he didn't do, he did not do for good reason.

As he finished laying out his work for the day, a round shadow was cast over the neatness of his desk. The ominous shadow boasted a rather large spike, protruding from a large circular blob. Such a shadow could only belong to a single man, A boy shaped so oddly, the only way to describe it was as a large, misshapen, baked potato. But, as always the same thunderous voice interrupted Saito's concentration.

"So, Saito, when are you gonna let your wimpy little navi take on my Gutsman?" said the loud, incommodious youth named 'Dekao'.

"Not today, Dekao. Besides, you know that we're not supposed to have net battles in school. It's against the rules." He said, very 'matter-of-fact'ly.

"Aww! Come on Saito! I can take on his puny Gutsman, No problem!" came the small voice from the PET.

"Yeah, Saito, it's just a little netbattle! Stop taking things so seriously!" Dekao whined.

"Did you forget what happened the last time you netbattled my navi? What about when his attack MISSED? That mini-bomb totally wiped out your hard drive!" came Saito's retort.

Dekao was balked by that memory. Slowly, he backed away, and escaped into another conversation.

"How come you don't let me netbattle anymore, Saito?" Rockman whimpered.

"Because I'm hesitant to give you anything more dangerous then string." Saito replied, staring into his math book.

"What the!? What about Coloredman.Exe?! His operator lets him netbattle, and he was a frickin' lunatic!!!" Rockman shouted.

"...and he had an operator to match. If he were my navi, I'd keep the string away from him. Besides, that wasn't a netbattle. That was a hostile takeover of city street-lights. That just proves that his operator has no common sense." Saito said, lamely.

"But I beat that punk! That has to say something for my skills!" Rockman said, nearly sobbing.

"You didn't beat him. You used Roll as a 'meat shield' until Coloredman accidentally made the ball ricochet off her and it beamed him in the face. Then while he was unconscious, you replaced his ball with a Satellit3 chip, and when he woke up, the satellite spun him around for so long that he got nauseous and nearly spewed random integers out his ears."

"...well, yeah, but I still won." The blue navi insisted.

"Look, if I have anything to say about it, you're not getting into any more unnecessary netbattles. It's not like we haven't had enough of them in the past two weeks anyways, and those were mandatory." He said, trying to reason with the impatient navi.

"...fine." Rockman sighed, relenting.

He was silent for most of the rest of class.

After class, Saito plugged Rockman.Exe into his desk, and remained for a little while longer to chat with his friends about their plans for the weekend. Mariko-Sensei commented on what a sad place the world was becoming, when children decided to have a chat session, despite the fact that all of the attendees were, in fact, in the same room. But she was a teacher, and members of that occupation were known for their little knowledge of fashion, trends, or any activities that were all the rage amongst an anti- social youthful citizenry. (Teachers may send death threats to

Rock approached Roll.Exe, Gutsman.Exe, and Glyde.Exe, with great expectations of the fun and good times soon to be had. "Hey all, where's the party at?" he asked, in his pseudo-party crasher mannerism.

He was responded to by the female navi, who turned angrily upon him, with rage burning in her eyes. He knew by now not to be fooled by the pink outfit. Inside this seemingly sweet, gentle, and tender image, dwelled a killing machine of unparalleled horror, capable of causing much suffering,. Horrible, suffering.

"YOU!!!" came the loveably kind voice, as if filtered through the coffee grains of pure evil. "YOU DIE NOW!!!" she shouted.


With the stinging of a thousand pointy things, Rockman's cheeks were subjected to a world of hurt, Nay, a universe of hurt. Although the 'Roll Flash' was a relatively weak attack, when infused with the fire and rage of an angry female, its attack would cripple even the most offensive of terrors,

Rockman, powerless, soared back into the sky, like a ragdoll with an industrial strength rocket duct taped to it's lifeless torso, and with a dull, yet infinitely agonizing thud, he returned to Earth. After a brisk bounce, and a sudden halt (assisted by a pile of now bruised, and bewildered navis), Rockman once again addressed Saito. "You think she's still mad about the whole meat shield thing?" he asked, innocently.

"I'd say it's a safe assumption, Yes." Came Saito's obvious reply.

About 10 minutes, and several +50 recovery chips later, Rockman stood up, brushed the digi-dust off himself, and stomped back to the circle of Navis.

"Ok, Roll, Let's get something straight! Sure, I may have used you as a meat- shield, and yeah, maybe I did set you up on a blind date with Gutsman, and maybe, just MAYBE I crossed the line when I insinuated it was that time of the month, But," he hesitated, suddenly overwhelmed by the realization that all three of the were glaring at him in a very frightening manner. He smiled nervously and twiddled his thumbs. ", but that doesn't mean we can't all just, get along, right?"

Roll simply menaced at him, and addressed her operator, Sakura Meiru. "Do you still have that 'Super Great-White Angel' chip?"

Saito glanced up at Meiru, to his horror, seeing the rare and terrible chip between her index finger and thumb.

"I just happen to have it right here, Roll. You think I should give it to you?" she replied grimly.

"You're going to hit me again, aren't you?" Rock asked with abjectness in his tone.

"Yuuup." Roll replied, still glaring away.

"Rockman deserves it, too, de-gutsu," the large navi, Gutsman, added.

"Indeed." Came the accented speech of Glyde.

Rock sighed. "Could you at least make it quick? I don't want to spend the rest of my day waiting to get hit by a girl as slow and cumbersome as yourself."

Roll's eyes turned an intense and glowing red at this newest insult, as Rock realized that this was one of those times Saito had told him about, whence the best course of action would've been to remain quiet. In a fit of rage, Meiru slammed the battle chip into her PET, and sweet little Roll-Chan began the transformation into the dreaded Roll- Sama.

Her fingers extended into claw-like digits, and the heels of her boots became long, giving her an extra 5-6 inches in height. A fangish canine revealed itself from underneath a sinister smile, as upon the clean, kind face, appeared enough eye shadow to choke a whale. A spiked whip, like the stem of a rose, spiraled from her palm, and sparked like a downed power-line. She gripped it tightly as she loomed over Rockman like a nightmare, about to take a turn for the worst.

Rockman was reminded of a phrase that had seemed quite appropriate for his current situation. "Never run from a sniper, because you will just die tired." While Roll was no sniper, she would have all the time she needed to get that whip around his throat if he turned to retreat. No, running was not the answer here. This time, Rockman resigned himself to fate, and was determined to take his punishment like a navi.

Like a coward, he covered his eyes with his hands, and his voice squeaked. "Be gentle."

Roll-Sama grinned, and replied to his plea with a sub-vocalic laugh. "I will give you all the mercy you deserve, knave!"

She slung her whip upon him, and it latched itself around his arm. It gripped him firmly, and he knew that escape was impossible.

Saito watched in a dazed trance as his navi was mercilessly yanked, swung over Roll-Sama's head, and smashed into the ground, only to be yanked upon again, and have the process repeated, over, and over, and over, and over again.

After several minutes of the harsh beating, Saito spoke up.

"Umm, Guys, we started this chat so we could figure out what were gonna do tonight, not so we could beat the ever-lovin' crap out of my navi. Right?" he asked, nervously.

"Oh yeah." Meiru exclaimed, with an expression to match. She dropped the 'Super Great White Angel' chip out of the back of her PET, and with a poof of colorful anime smoke, Roll-Sama had returned to the adorable Roll-Chan they all knew, loved, and on some occasions, went to great lengths not to piss off. "So, what is the plan for tonight, anyways?"

The group gathered in a circle in the center of the room, and promptly began making their suggestions as to what activities would be undertaken for the night.

Dekao whined. "I wanna go see a movie."

"We could all go for a ride in my private sub. That's always fun." Yaito mentioned.

"But last time we did that, we got lost in your pool and almost ran out of air." Saito reminded her.

Yaito turned to Saito with a disapproving sneer. "You're something of a whiner, aren't you?"

Again came the griping voice of Dekao: "I wanna go see a movieeee!"

"Well," came Meiru's quiet voice. "We could always go some place quiet and get dinner."

Saito liked this aspect of Meiru -- the kinder, gentler, less "Hi-I'm-a-homicidal- maniac-and-my-navi's-gonna-rape-your-navi" side of the girl that he felt was quite becoming, compared to most girls his age.

Dekao's bellyaching was reaching a point of intensity. "I WANNA go see a MOVIE"

Meiru turned and gored him in the gut with her elbow, dropping him like 300 pounds of dead cow. "WHY ARE YOU YELLING!?!?!"

'oh well.' Saito thought. 'It was becoming while it lasted.'

"Umm," Saito suggested, "We could just go see a movie, like we do every other time we get together."

Meiru grinned and took Saito's arm in her own. "Great Idea Saito. You always have good ideas, But let's leave Dekao here, He's acting really obnoxious tonight."

Dekao lay in a dazed, crumpled heap at their feet, and Saito shrugged, not wanting to get in the middle of this.

"I'm game." Saito Smiled. "I heard that there's a movie out based on some game about a virus and zombies or something. 'Occupant Malevolence' or 'Resident Evil' or something."

Dekao stood slowly. "Zombies? What kind of stupid, pathetic gaming company would make a game about zombies? It's too overdone!" he said dryly.

**Due to circumstances beyond my control, the creative force behind the inspiration for this fanfic have removed an offensive character from the series. Unfortunately, the aforementioned character was currently in use by the author within the plot of this fanfic. As such, we have scheduled a replacement to take over, and request that the viewing audience please do everything in their power to forget the previous occupant of the part. Thank you. That is all.**

Saito and Meiru exchanged horrified glances.

"T-That was scary," Meiru squeeked.

"Y-yeah, It was." Saito agreed, hesitantly.

All three of them looked down at 4 or 5-year-old standing where Dekao had stood only moments ago. His mopped brown hair and beady eyes stared back up at them in wonder and concern. This was Dekao's little brother, Chiisao. Mariko-Sensei rushed over and and nearly shouted at the group.

"Oh my!!! Some men in black just drove up in a van that had 'CAPCOM' written on the side, and threw Dekao in the back of the van!!!" she said, frantically.

"Mariko Sensei!" Saito screamed. "They told us if we mentioned his name again, they'd come back and kill us all!!! Maybe we should just keep going."

The small boy who stood among them spoke up. "U-umm, What happened to big brother?" he asked.

Yaito lunged at him and smacked her palm over his mouth, silencing him. "If you ever want to see your parents again, I'd play along." She waited a moment before removing her hand from his mouth.

Chiisao's fearful eyes filled with tears, as he uncertainly replied, "o-ok,"

"So," Saito interjected, trying to get the plot moving once again. "We're off to the movies."

"Uhh, Yeah," Meiru agreed, still a little shaken.

Within moments, the group had gotten on the subway going to Dentown. All of them were excited about the movie they were soon to see, except for Chiisao, who was terrified of Zombies, due to a story that Dek---- that the unmentionable one told him when he was younger.

They arrived in front of the movie theater just moments before it started. They swarmed the ticket booth and quickly paid the bored-looking man behind the glass. Chiisao demanded that they all get popcorn, and Yaito stayed with him in the line for snacks, and sent Meiru and Saito to find seats.

They entered the packed cinema, and spied 4 seats, located in the center of the row, almost half of the way back within the theater. Saito and Meiru quickly strode down the aisles and made their way across peoples stretched legs, trekking towards the empty seats. When they arrived, Meiru threw herself unceremoniously into the chair, and Saito stepped over her filling the next available space.

"Maaaan," Meiru groaned. "My legs hurt from standing around on that subway for so long."

"What?" Saito said, confused. "It's only a five minute trip."

"Hmmph," Meiru grunted. "How rude."

Saito sighed as a person sitting beside him leaned over. "Man, you kids are braver then I am." The stranger said.

"Why?!" Saito asked. "Is this movie really supposed to be that scary?"

"No, not at all." The unfamiliar man said, calmly. "It's just that we could've sworn we heard something ticking underneath your friends seat, and when we looked under, we could've sworn that the big box that was ticking was a bomb. Freaky, isn't it?"

Saito stared in horror for a moment, before lunging out of his seat, and onto the floor, gaping at the large box, with tangled wires emerging from the sides and connecting to several large cylinders on top of the device. Indeed, it was ticking, and had a convenient plug in port underneath and LED clock.

Meiru, aghast at Saito's misinterpreted actions, kicked Saito in the face and stomped on his neck. "WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO GET A PEEK OF!?!?" she shouted.

Saito was slammed against the seat in front of them and sprawled out on the floor. "I'M NOT LOOKING AT YOU. I'M LOOKING AT THAT!!!" he shouted, pointing at the ticking box.

Meiru looked confused for a moment, before leaning over and looking upon the device, which rested under her seat. She looked up at Saito fearfully and he instructed her the best way he knew how.

"Don't move! It could be linked to the chair; if you get up, it could detonate." He said as calmly as he could. "Rockman, Ready for some action?" he asked.

"I was programmed ready. What's the crisis of the day?" came the voice from the PET.

"Whaaaaaaat?!" Meiru whined. "You're sending HIM in to save me?" her voice cracked in disbelief, as her eyes became teary. "I'm gonna diiiie!" she sobbed.

"Oh ye of little faith, Meiru! Have a little confidence in the rock, man!" The navi said, coolly.

And that was it. That was the straw the camels back. As Rockman concluded, Meiru lost all of her self-control and bawled her eyes out.

Saito pitied her. The sight of a crying woman was always enough to wear down his will, but unfortunately he did not have time to console her. He stood and grabbed the stranger who informed him of the bombs whereabouts by the collar. "WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL US ABOUT IT BEFORE WE SAT DOWN?!!?" he screamed.

"Well, Gosh," the man said, confused. "It didn't seem like it was important at the time."

"AUGH!!!" Saito grunted, exasperated. He threw himself under Meiru's chair again and addressed his navi. "Rockman, This is critical, If you screw up this time, we're all going to die. Do you understand?" Saito asked, seriously.

Rockman groaned. "Oh sure, NOW you depend on me, when peoples lives are at stake. You never let me netbattle for fun, or to sharpen my skills."

Saito smacked his forehead. "FINE, I'll let you netbattle WHENEVER you want, as long as you do well here, and I'm alive to let you do it. Alright?"

"You got yourself a deal partner." Rockman sneered.

"Fine, Fine." Saito agreed as he plugged the PET into the port. "Get in the bomb."

"BOMB?" Rockman repeated with disbelief.

"BOMB!!! Where have you been?!" Saito shouted.

"I, I wasn't, I mean, Nowhere." Rockman stated, innocently.

"Look, I don't care. Get in the bomb!" The boy said, firmly.

"YOU get in the bomb! I was minding my own business!" the navi retorted, crossing his arms and looking away.

Saito glared at him, infuriated. His eyes grew dark and all of the energy of the cosmos flowed into his body. Two large rings of pure energy formed and circled menacingly around him, as his hair fell over the sinister green orbs, resting in the cavities of his eye socket. An ominous sneer crept o'er his expression as the boy became foreboding and threatening.

"HEY!!! HE'S GONE SAITO STYLE!!!" A random man in the rear of the theater shouted, as he was jumped and beaten savagely by several large men with nightsticks.

Rockman stared in shock at his operator.

"Get,. In, the bomb." Saito growled.

"Damn, Wish I could do that." Rockman gaped, as he jumped through the cable into the bomb's internal electrical system.

By now, Meiru had cried herself to sleep, and sat in the seat, curled up in a ball.

Yaito and Chiisao were just coming down the aisle, and noticed Saito staring underneath Meiru's seat.

"Saito! What in the heck are you doing under there?!?" Yaito asked, confused.

He motioned her to be silent and for her to come closer. She obeyed and her whispered. "Yaito-chan, be quiet. There's a bomb under this seat. Get everyone out of the theater right now, but don't let them know why, We don't want to start a panic."

", And it'll be more fun to watch the movie in an empty theater! I gotcha Saito." She said, winking at him, and going back towards the aisle, dragging a confused Chiisao behind her.

"What the --?!" Saito said, disbelieving what he'd just heard. "Oh forget it."

Yaito ran to the far edge of the aisle and released Chiisao, leaving him alone. She ran, as fast as her small legs would carry her, to the very back of the theater, turned to the woman in the seat closest to the exit, and said "Hey, Leave the theater fast! Pass it on!"

The woman she addressed turned to her. "Why hello little girl! Are we playing telephone?"

"No!" Yaito said, quietly. "I'm not playing telephone. I want you to leave the theater. Tell everyone else in this row to leave too."

"But," the woman said confused. "But we paid to see the movie. Is something wrong?"

"Umm, No, but, You can see this same movie alot cheaper at the theater across town in 20 minutes! If you get to the ticket booth fast enough, they'll give you a refund." She said, enticingly.

"Well, that's very nice of you to tell us that, but I think we can afford to spend a little more." The woman said kindly.

"NO, you're not listening. I said GET OUT. Now OUT or I'll have my daddy come down here an—"

Unfortunately, Chiisao, whom she previously abandoned, was now by the single exit of the theater, and he was shouting with all the might his tiny lungs could muster.

"HEY!!! EXCWUSE MEEEE!!!" he screamed.

The theater went silent and stared at the noisy child.

"There's a bomb in the room!" he proudly announced.

The audience within the cinema room stared in horror for a moment, before hopping up from their seats and charging towards the door. Chiisao realized what a dire mistake he had made, as he saw the stampede of terrified theater patrons rushing towards him. He turned, and screamed a high-pitched scream, and was promptly trampled by a horde of fleeing critics, and was flattened within a matter of moments.

** Umm... Me again... Due to ... character injuries... We must remove and replace yet another character in this fanfic. Because we are running out of reasonable character substitutes, we have had to call upon the courtesy of unpaid hollywood actors. We hope that you will overlook this inconvenience, and not let it effect your judging.

Thank you again. **

"Oh my word!!!" Came the shrill voice of the student's teacher, Mariko-Sensei, who was standing just outside the theater. "Every bone in poor Chiisao's body was crushed with one fantastic snap, and after he was carried away on a stretcher, Chris Farley appeared wearing all of Dekao-Kun's clothing!!!"

Sure enough, Saito looked behind him.

A large, middle-aged man, with Dekao's build stood in a semi-squatting position, his fists clenched and his face red with frustration.


Saito nearly lost control, he was about to begin trying to defuse the bomb and there were so many distractions arising that it was nearly impossible. "Fine! I'll netbattle you later Chr— I MEAN, Dekao, But you have to give me a few minutes to defuse this bomb or we're all toast!"

"Oh FINE!" Chr--, err, Dekao-Kun grunted. "I'm gonna go raid the snack bar!" he said, stomping off.

Saito looked down at Rockman, who was inspecting his whereabouts within the bomb. The pathways were like cracked marble, and he wasn't sure if it was stable or safe enough to tread on. The "sky" within was a firey red mist, surrounding the system as if he were encased inside a mystic sorcerers crystal ball. He stepped uneasily on the path ahead of him, and it did not give. He assumed it was safe to proceed and carried on.

"Rockman," Saito said, concerned, "Be careful in there."

"You got it, Boss." Rockman replied.

He stepped on another tile, and it lowered about a half-an-inch and clicked. '

Saito stared in horror, as the LED clock came to life. They had five minutes to remove the detonator script, or Saito wouldn't have to worry about passing the 5th grade.

"Step on it Rockman! We've got a time limit now!" Saito urged.

"How much?"

"Five minutes! No, Four and a half."

"I'm on it." Rockman said, taking off, following the path, before he reached the crossroads. ", Where to now? The path on the right turns red, and the path on the left turns blue. Any ideas?"

"Umm," Saito said, inspecting the bomb. ", just a minute," He placed his index finger and thumb on a red wire on the side of the bomb, and followed it The red wire lead directly to the explosives. He put his hand back near the origin of the wires and this time followed the blue wire, back to the clock. "Take the blue path Rockman, I think that'll take you to the detonation device." He commanded.

"Roger, Saito-kun. I'm on my way."

He followed the path as far as he could, and it led to a small platform with the detonation program console, with a large blue wire trailing off into the distance on it. He approached it and gasped as his foot sank when it touched a panel.

Saito nearly fell over backwards as the sound of a loud explosion rocked his PET, and startled him. He banged his head on the seat behind him, and nearly lost consciousness. He could almost feel warm blood drip from his ear, as a result of the sudden and terribly loud noise. The only grip he had left in the real world was the sound of Rockman screaming as he was tossed mercilessly by the intensity of the blast.

"r, rock, rock,man,!!!" he said pushing himself up. "Rockman?!" he shouted, staring down at his PET. "You okay?!"

Rockman lay on the ground, bruised and steaming. ", s, saito?" he said weakly. "I, I'm ok, just a second," Rockman gathered his fortitude and shoved himself upright and looked down at his leg. "My leg is hurt pretty bad, But I think I can move it."

Rockman stood slowly and surveyed the surroundings again. The smoke from the explosion was starting to clear, and a sinister navi stared back at Rockman from the clearing fog of war. Rockman limped forward, holding his arm in pain and grunting with every step, preparing to confront the navi.

"YOU!!!" Rockman shouted. "Who are you?!"

The smoke cleared, and revealed a tall navi, with a large yellow Mohawk, and a red torso. Each shoulder was shaped like a bomb, complete with a fuse, and his expression was a warning to any who would try to balk his plans. His large, black hands and orange cuffs looked quite powerful, and he also wore black leggings with a white band on each thigh.

"Greetings, weak civilian navi. I am Bombman.Exe; The independent Navi and Servant of the World 3 Crime Syndicate." He said, eloquently. "And you are trespassing on our turf!"

", Your turf is a bomb?" Rockman asked, puzzled.

"I, it's just, I was going for a," Bombman stuttered. ", Shut up."

"Where's your operator?!" Saito shouted. "Tell him to come out and face me!"

Bombman sighed, dejectedly, and pointed up about 8 lines to the word Independent. "Man, You kids nowadays! Don't your teachers show you how to read? Has illiteracy truly become an epidemic in this country?!"

"You mean," Rockman said, astounded, ", You, Don't have an operator?!"

"No. I don't. That's what independent means! Sheesh." Bombman retorted sarcastically.

"Wait," Saito interjected. "Then how did you get this bomb into the theater?"

Bombman looked puzzled for a moment. "Umm," he began, obviously confused by the concept himself. "Uhh, Wireless, internet, connection?" he said, unsure of his explanation.

Rockman pondered this. ", It makes sense and it doesn't, all at the same time."

"But," Saito asked. "Wouldn't it make more sense to use your destructive power to seal off the entrance to the undernet so that my navi and I cannot stop your master's evil plans to destroy all of the worlds technology?"

"Urk," Bombman.Exe hesitated. "umm, don't ask stupid questions."

"Turn this bomb off!" Rockman demanded.

"Or else what?" Bombman asked, slyly.

"Or else this bomb's gonna blow up!" Rockman said, clarifying his position.

Bombman blinked, and stared at Rockman for a moment. "That is the general idea. Yeah."

", but, umm, If this bomb blows up, you're going down with us! You live in the system on this bomb, and it'll be destroyed too!" Rockman said, reasoning with a rather obvious fact.

"AHA!" Bombman shouted. "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But I have taken the next step, for I have, right behind me a link to the square." He stepped to the left, and held his hands to the right. "Does my genius astound you?"

Rockman blinked. ", What link?"

Bombman sneered. "I'm not going to fall for that one." He said, turning away. "The link right th—"

To his dismay, the link was not there. "Shit, SHIT," he cursed.

Rockman grinned. "Now, Turn this bomb off!!"

Bombman cursed again. "Damn it, I always do this!!! I always screw up some mundane detail!!!! Every single time!!!"

Rockman grunted. "An escape route really isn't all that mundane!"

"SHUT UP!!!" Bombman shouted in denial. "If you want me to turn this bomb off, You shall have to defeat me in combat."

Now, Saito did the shouting. "We don't have TIME for these games!!! There's only two minutes left before this bomb and this whole theater goes up in smoke!!!"

"Come now, Boy." The navi began. "You can't expect me to just give up without a fight! Have at you!" Bombman declared, as a bomb materialized in front of him, and he sent it spiraling towards Rockman.

Rockman threw himself to the side and pushed off the ground with his palm, and brought himself over it in an evasive cartwheel, and brought his feet back to the ground. The bomb soared past him and exploded in the distance, making a frightening silhouette of the navi stand out among the flames. He whipped himself back into an upright position and turned to Bombman, with one out towards his opponent, and another held closer to his face. The outreached hand turned upside down, and with a twitch of his index and middle finger he signed the universal symbol.

Bring it on.

"Feh," Bombman sneered. "Someone saw 'The Matrix' one time too many."

"Saito," Rockman said, addressing his operator. "What little presents have we got for my new buddy bombman?"

Saito reached into his back pocket where he kept his battlechips, and pulled out a fistful. "Oh crap," he said. "Most of them are broken! I must have fallen on them when I heard the explosion in there!"

"...ok," Rockman said. "What do we have?"

"Umm, We have an ElecSword, 2 minibombs, and a Wind chip."

"...this could get ugly." Rockman said, grimly.

"Yeah, Yeah it could. 1 minute 30 seconds." Saito said, urgently.

"Let's do it."

Rockman bolted towards Bombman, who was already tossing another bomb his way. He leaned back and dropped one hand to the marble platform and managed to slide under the bomb, as it passed just pixels from his helmet. He pushed off the floor and reverted back into an all out charge as the bomb exploded behind him, and gave him a bit of a speed boost. "Now, Saito!" he said.


The minibomb materialized in Rockman's hand and he hurled it forward towards Bombman, and put his weight back and slid again, digging his fingers into the marble- like surface of the terrain to come to a sudden stop.

Bombman stood undaunted as the minibomb approached. He paused, and spun, catching the bomb in his large hands, and used the momentum from the spin, releasing the bomb, sending it back at Rockman at 10 times the speed it was originally delivered.

Rockman didn't even have time to react before the minibomb slammed into his chest and detonated, sending him tumbling back to his starting position. He lay on the ground as he halted, holding his chest tightly and coughing. "Saito, This isn't working."

"Come on Rock! Get up! We've only got one minute left!!!"

Weakly, Rockman pulled himself to his feet again. "Let's be a little more aggressive this time, Ok, Saito?"

"Ok Rockman, Just be careful."

"If I were gonna be careful, I wouldn't be in this bomb." He said with a smirk.

He glared back towards Bombman, who had four bombs lined up in a row on the ground, and he was just waiting to punt them towards the blue navi.

"Let's make this one good, Saito. I don't have many more runs left in me."

"Got it."

Rockman dashed towards Bombman once again, and his opponent grinned. Bombman drew his leg back, and with a loud CRACK, sent the bomb hurtling towards Rockman, quickly followed by the second, third, and fourth.


Rockman's arm shuddered and morphed into the sword, and he brought his arm forward like an uppercut, cleaving the first bomb vertically, and cleanly into two pieces, and it harmlessly fragmented, turned to raw data, and vanished. As his arm slowed from the first attack, he twirled and brought the sword down slashing the second bomb horizontally, and it too crumbled into random 1s and 0s, before it disappeared. He raised his arm once again and dropped his elbow onto the third bomb, hurling it into the marble floor, and he thrust the sword forward, skewering the fourth and final bomb. With the bomb still on his sword, he charged again towards Bombman, and he threw his arm backward, as the bomb dislodged itself from the sword, flew off and impacted the third downed bomb, creating a massive explosion. The flames expanded and quickly engulfed Rockman.

Bombman's grin at his success quickly turned to a shocked expression. Rockman emerged from the wall of flames just inches from him and slashed at Bombman's left arm, slicing it efficiently and separating it from the rest of the navi. It fell to the floor and diffused into harmless bits of data.


The sword disappeared and the minibomb took its stead, as Rockman leapt into the air and spun on all axes. As he reached the peak of the arc, he was upside-down, and his head was inches from Bombman. He thrust his arm straight down and slapped the minibomb to Bombman's shoulder, and finished his acrobatic maneuver, landing on his feet, and immediately taking off, away from Bombman.

The bomb promptly exploded and Rockman couldn't help but be thrown forward, and he was lightly tossed and once again, rolled to a stop. He lifted his eyes from the floor and looked up at the cloud of smoke as it slowly began to clear.

The fog faded, and Bombman still stood, smirking, holding a bomb in his one remaining hand.

"30 seconds, Rockman!!!" Saito shouted.

"Nice try, Kids." Bombman said. "But my job is to make sure that no one interferes with this detonation, I'll see you both in hell!"

He took a step back and threw his arm forward with all of his might, and the bomb screamed towards Rockman.

Helpless, the blue navi covered his eyes and buried his face in the floor.


As the chip entered the slot, a huge beige box with a propeller within it manifested beside Rockman, and the blades of the fan begin to spin. It created a mighty gust of wind, and all in its wake was blown away. The bomb in flight slowed, and then reversed.

It was being pushed blown directly back into Bombman.

The bomb impacted, and slammed into Bombman's chest, and a massive explosion rocked the system. Rockman kept his head to the ground and waited.

After several seconds, he looked up.

Bombman had STILL not been deleted, but he was dazed.


Rockman stumbled to his feet and began charging his busted. Blue energy from all around him was drawn into the barrel.


The energy flowing into the barrel had reached the second stage. Yellow.


The energy had reached the final stage, and the buster was fully charged.


Rockman aimed the buster at Bombman and released the shot.


The charged blast from the buster blazed towards Bombman as the console lit up, and a burst of electricity was sent through the wire. The buster blast shrieked as it neared it's target, and Bombman shouted helplessly as the shot pierced the bomb on the right shoulder of the navi, and his eyes grew wide as it burst.

The electrical pulse released from the console rocketed through the copper wiring, and as it did, the explosion from within the bomb was growing – catching up to it.

Within milliseconds, the flame and intensity of the inferno had entered the wire, and overtaken the electrical pulse.

Outside the bomb, Saito jumped as a loud CRACK and the distinct smell of melted rubber signified that the wire had short-circuited, and fried itself. The whole of the bomb sizzled, and died, as the clock stopped and blinked, with zero seconds left.

Saito stared at the bomb, aghast. He could've sworn that he was dead, but he still felt very much alive. He looked at his hands, and noted that he had not been blown into pieces. He looked up at Meiru, still sleeping contently (though strangely) on the chair. Then he looked down, onto the blank, static screen of the PET.

"Rockman?!" he shouted. "Rockman?!!? You ok?!"

No reply.


Still, no response.

"Rockman, Where are you!?" he said quietly.

The screen on the PET flickered, and Saito heard a familiar groaning.

"...Rockman?" he asked.

"...Saito," came the weak reply.

"Yeah?" The boy asked, with a subvocalic laugh.

"Next time, YOU'RE getting in the bomb."

"Heh, Yeah right. You'd have to be crazy thinking you could get me to do anything you navi's do." He smirked.

"...drop dead." The navi moaned.


The months that followed proved to be even more confusing and intense as the months that had preceded them. Saito discovered the plans of Dr. Wily to create the LifeVirus and use it against humanity, to destroy the Internet. Fortunately, he was able to find his way to the World 3 secret base, and destroy the LifeVirus.

Not long after, Saito was informed that Rockman, his navi, was a digital manifestation of his brother Netto, who had died from a disease he'd contracted as an infant. Saito was reluctant to use his navi in battle again, but Netto, that mongrel idiot, insisted that Saito keep his promise, and allow him to netbattle for recreation more often. Saito, bound by his word, complied.

Two weeks after the destruction of World 3, Saito kept his promise by taking Chris Farley—I MEAN, Dekao-Kun, on in a public netbattle. Together, Saito and Netto easily defeated his navi, Chris Rockman.Exe.

"Saito?" Rockman asked after the netbattle.

"Yeah, Netto?" he asked.

"You know, you can still call me Rockman. It's kind of a cool nickname."

"Uhh, fine. What did you want?" Saito asked, again.

"I was just wondering, Do you ever wonder what life would be like if I'd lived, and I was the operator, and you were the navi?"

"No. Besides, that video game contract we just got, Who'd want to play a game where YOU were the one in charge?" Saito asked, laughing.

Rockman was silent. "I would."

Saito snickered as he approached a fast food stand. "Don't be so lame, Rockman. This is the only way it could ever be. No reason to get false hopes by asking 'what if' questions." He looked up at the food vendor. "Hi. I'd like a hot dog, some chips, and a medium coke."

"...umm, Saito?"

"Just a minute Rockman." He snapped at his navi, before turning back to the vendor. "Yeah, with ketchup, mustard, and relish."

"Saito!!" Rockman whined.

"Just a MINUTE Rockman! Geesh," he moaned. He turned back to the vendor yet again. "Do you take Zenny's here? Great!" He plugged the PET into a port on the register to transfer the Zenny to complete the transaction.



"Yes, Saito?"

"Where has all of my zenny gone?"

"there's a perfectly good reason for this."

"REALLY?!?!" Saito shouted. "WHAT IS IT?!?"

"You remember that game I started playing? Everquest?" Rockman said, quietly and innocently.

"you didn't."

"well, I didn't exactly read the user contract when I was installing it,"


"and, well, they charge 1000 zenny a month to play."

"But that's just one-thousand zennys!!! I had 15000 in there!!!"

"Umm, yeah, I've been playing it for,,. Awhile, and, I didn't exactly remember to pay before, and they, reminded me about it, and I took the liberty of paying, since if I didn't, they would've arrested you."


Special thanks go to:

Tabby-Kitsu: For pointing out the contest to me, supporting me as I ripped out my hair because of it, and not laughing too hard when I screwed up.

Core Xion: Emotional Support, Humor Advisor, Good friend, and the only person I know who I am luckier then.

Chris Farley: For being an awesome actor and comedian, and for taking part in my fanfic, even though he's dead.

In Memorial of Chris Farley

We shall sorely miss you.